Interview with Anastacea Koudrie
There are hundreds of books, workshops, courses, even festivals on Tantra. So what is Tantra?
I my understanding Tantra is like jazz, like dance, like children playing. It is the magic of sharing. Tantra is within all of us. We are all capable of giving ourselves totally to LOVE, CARE and CONNECTION. Unfortunatelly most people find it very difficult to be emotionally open and creative in their sexual lives. And they are very unhappy because of that.
What about Tantric techniques?
I my understanding when openness and creativity are present we do not need any techniques as such. We just need to LISTEN – to ourselves and to our partners. We need to relax and let the energy flow. We need to stop thinking and ‘doing’, and simply become still in mind and soft in the body, become a cloud of endless gratitude to each other. Gratitude is the path leading to the ecstatic state of Tantric sex.
Who taught you about Tantra?
Life. All my experiences of lovemaking. My sensitive body, my gentle nature. For thousands of years people have lived with a sense of sexual shame, often filled with dark desires. Most people today are still hiding their sexual unhappiness. There are not many teachers who can show you in practice the way to sexual happiness. I cannot imagine any other teachers for me except my own loving heart and my radiant body. All gurus are within us. Tantra is about opening the guru inside yourself.
There are a lot of organisations which offer professional Tantric help. Do you take part in any of their work?
I love to help more people to become sexually open, but my work is NOT connected to any ‘Tantric institutions’. My work is a reflection of my personality, my life long observation of my own sexual and sensual experiences, my own development into a lover which can make any men happy. I am still this woman, a woman who is making love. My maturity is my teacher too. Creating the magic of intimate sharing between two lovers is my art, I am an author of all my techniques and methods. I could not find them anywhere, I have just got the hint from eastern teachings. They do not teach the art. The artist is always unique. When men ask me what they can expect from the session they hardly can imagine what I can do for them as this kind of touches and physical joy is not known to them.
Have you obtained any qualifications in Tantra?
It is absurd! How such qualifications are possible? Examinations in love and intimacy? Tantra has become a big business, true. But is it really Tantra? Is it really the magic of intimacy? How is it possible to measure the level of emotional and physical closeness? It only can be felt in the moment between two lovers. Sexuality is a very delicate expression of human existence. Tantric sex is something so intangible! It is difficult even to find a way of describing it! It can be understood only by experiencing it. But you need that special partner who has already discovered Tantric sex and will lead you into it.
You call yourself a Tantric Master or Tantric Artist. What does this mean? Do you believe that you do something different from others who call themselves Tantric?
I teach Tantric sex. I don’t just talk about it. I believe that sexual Tantra is like dancing or music – an expression, an art which is always different between different sexual partners. Books, workshops and courses can be interesting and useful for giving a deeper insight into sexuality, but for me personally, they can’t replace the powerful and beautiful moments of sexual sharing which I have with my Tantric students. You can’t play piano by just talking or reading about playing, you need to play, literally, put your fingers on the piano keyboard. ‘I felt welcomed, guided and enjoyed by you – even cherished – and felt love for you too, holding you. I am now enjoying a big pool of energy that wasn’t accessed for me before. It feels slightly overwhelming at times, but I suspect it will become integrated into my being as I get used to it’. This are words of one of my students. To feel loved and loving is the main thing. I know how to create this feeling. This is a huge difference between me and those who teach ‘cobra breathing’ or other ‘tantric techniques’. for me Tantra is about holding each other and feeling overwhelmed by love. By the way, the man who wrote me the words above was 26 and for a few years studied psychotherapy, including sexual therapy. He said that it was nothing about sexual happiness in the university course. This is the tragedy that all official institutions are focused on sexual problems but not on sexual happiness. If to teach how to create sexual art there will be no sexual problems. Many other people have said to me that they participated in tantric workshops but they learnt nothing about sex as such, so nothing about Tantric sex too. All that talking cannot teach how to touch. So sexual happiness remained an unsolved puzzle for people who have visited many tantric workshops. My own perception of the tantric business today is that it is like a religion – there is still a lot of tension around the act of sexual penetration, as in any other religion. I am different because I practice Tantric sex almost every day and I know that things like chakra theory or breathing and meditation techniques are not the key to the magic of Tantric sex.
What is the key?
Loving and attentive touch, beautiful feelings towards each other, romantic improvisation, synchronisation of body movements, good knowledge about your own sensuality and about your partner’s… It is really very atmospheric activity. Tantric sex requires good choice of music, lighting, maybe even some of romantic outfits…
What about sexual energy control? Isn’t Tantra about that, about a higher level of orgasm, about multiple orgasms?
For me Tantra is not about orgasms at all! I also do not like the word ‘control’. It is like forcing or repressing something. In Tantra you need to learn to master your sexual energy, which means moving and distributing it around the body, keeping your genitals in a relaxed and soft state for the woman and in a half-relaxed and half-soft state for the man. During Tantric sex people focus on each other, on their loving expression towards each other, but not as much on themselves, not on their own sensations. Most people cannot do that easily. That’s why men ejaculate or lose their erections, and women are left with unsatisfied desires. In my sessions, even men in their 80’s can maintain a good erection for a long time and younger men do not ejaculate at all. I never have an orgasm as most women know it. It is completely different experience.
It is still not clear what you actually do in your work…
I … simply love, I love men as they are, helping them to become softer in their bodies, gentler in their touch, slower in their movements, deeper in their emotions. So, I dance with them like an erotic Muse, I make love to them like a devoted wife, I talk to them like their closest friend.
I know that most people would not be happy if their partners had a sexual experience with someone else. But sex is not easy. There is a lot to learn. We need proper teachers. Teaching lovemaking can only be effective if it is practical. There is no service like mine – teaching people about their sexuality through practical experience.
I believe that my sessions open in men the best human qualities and do not harm their relationships with their partners. In fact the opposite is true. My sessions give a deeper understanding of loving sensual touch which a man can share with his partner.